Skip to main content

smiley rainbow.

Ray's birthday is 8/19.
You wanna know how I remember?
8+1=9
8/19

For the past week I've been telling myself his birthday is on Thursday.  I even told two other people.
Only, it's not on Thursday.
It's tomorrow.
Maybe I got confused because by yesterday I thought it was already Tuesday. As a friend of mine said, "It's Monday and it's already the longest week of my life!!"

Please, someone out there, reassure me that the extent of one's children's cries does not necessarily indicate poor mothering. And that after the third time one's son deliberately "waters" the floor with his milk, juice, or water then it's okay to cry over spilled milk or juice or water.  And that when your son insists on messing with the gas stove controls a little corporal punishment is worth it, even if he cries even more than he was already doing (except of course when he was playing with the oven controls).
And that when your kid has a fever and you give him any form of fever reducer and he feels so great he thinks he can fly (literally) then it's okay to not want to give him any form of fever reducer ever again... even when his fever spikes at 105.
Don't worry, people.
I caved and gave him Tylenol when he said his head hurt.

Today was a rough day.
A storm is brewing and it always cools off just before a storm here.
So as Greg drives off to work for the night I sit alone on the back steps, tossing up a little "a little help here?!?" prayer and letting the breeze cool my skin.
I remember this rainbow I'd only been able to see from that same spot in the backyard. The rainbow formed an arc in the sky parallel to the earth.  I'd never seen a rainbow like that.  I said, "Look Ray!  A smiley face rainbow! Who put that beautiful rainbow there?"
He said , "Jesus!" Then he turned around and said, "Look Mommy! Now it's a frowny rainbow!"
smiling rainbow

Then I remember back to when he was born and we took him home for a day only to have to bring him to the NICU for 5 days and he was still jaundice for 3 more months and how we were so stressed.
And then I remember a friend of mine, a beautiful young mother who left this world a little more than 4 years ago. I see her embracing her children and her long curly hair and her enormous, gorgeous smile. Her arms were never ever too full for a hug.

Then I remember: it's not about the what; it's about the how.

The what is all the craziness happening right now.
The how is how I respond.
The how should always be with love, no matter the what.

And I think, a rainbow's a rainbow... even if it's frowning ;)

PS. okay, one more vent, I promise... for today... I discovered two piles of cat poop on the back porch. That's where we do our laundry. I am grateful it was not in or on the laundry.
A rainbow's a rainbow, right?

And I wrote that just so I could add the "poop" label to this post. It's my favorite.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

let them be bored

Schools are cancelling.  Kids are home. Kids are homeschooling (at least for a couple of weeks). For those parents "stuck" at home with your kids (assuming they are healthy), I have one request, one social experiment I would LOVE to see play out.  Let your kids be bored! Shut down electronics. Turn off phones. Keep the television off.  Let your kids be bored out of their minds.  After a day or two of whining and complaining that will push you to your limits, they WILL find something to do. They will wander outside and play some ball, or bike, or dig in the dirt.  They will find art supplies and create something.  They will play board games. They will play and fight with their siblings.  They will read and go on literary adventures.  They will talk with you, your family and their friends.  They need to be bored out of their freaking minds before they hit a wall and decide to DO SOMETHING with their time.  Let them be bored and watch them come alive. 

heart to heart.

Greg's brother, Kevin, stayed with us for a few days. Jimmy bonded with his Uncle Kevin. Once when he was crying, Kevin and I were sitting on the couch, I opened my arms to Jimmy but he walked right past me and climbed onto Kevin's lap. If Jimmy fussed Kevin scooped him up and carried him outside, all crying ceased. He took both boys outside every morning so I could shower and get ready. Kevin and I took the boys to the beach.  It was relaxing. Kevin did the usual beach stuff, burying Jimmy in the heavy sand, chasing Ray 1/2 mile down the beach because he never stops running... ever. It was getting close to leaving time. A couple showed up and the woman started burying what I though was a spike for a beach umbrella in the sand. I thought it was strange that she was placing it in out direct path to the water from where we were sitting, and there was literally no one else around, so why there? Turns out it wasn't for an umbrella, it was a spike for not one, but two

catching up 8.16-12.16

August Aunt Anna came to visit!   Ray draws a preying mantis View this post on Instagram Greg says after residency is over all my dreams will come true ♡♡♡😂😂😂 A post shared by Toni (@toni_ellen) on Aug 22, 2016 at 8:59pm PDT Ray's birthday trip and breastfeeding next to dead animals September We visited family in Atlanta. I finished John and Kate's blanket. Warning: the first images are reality with an infant and tired momma. meanwhile... October Hurricane headed for us, we are off of an outlet of the St. John's River, so our house was considered a red zone for flooding and Grandpa Hamilton drove down to rescue the kids and me. We stayed in Albany with Uncle Kevin and ended up back in Atlanta. Our house lost power for a few days. Thankfully nothing worse happened. my brother is hilarious even Ray was